I INVENT A YOU BC I NEED SOMEWHERE TO COME BACK FROM

hello new quiet soft as mauve

heather now the field

no longer a lawn or a sea     there never

was a sea at all     only ever a

placeholder

breath under a flood

long chains of your eyes peering some other way

way as in that field we sat in     that

sky-skim     wide-vast

clouds drifting thin above our heads

is it okay if I still say

meet me in this sea of grass

in the meadow’s heart

ah how hours fall through glass in your company

how I temporarily don’t notice these dirty

emerald stains on our skin     you tell me smear

isn’t a bad word     that what are

stains if not proof of existence in this sea

where we are always also at large

hello utter enveloping illuminated realm

hello I imagine us in that water

true that a great voice took over momentarily

the brain such a vaulted hall of mystery

the secret though is that you are and aren’t a person

yes a tide comes in sweeps me out undertow too

to break free I swim parallel to the shore

see I still have a few tricks up my sleeve

but what has happened to this timeline

to this glass polished into a mirror

I mean actually a loud strict voice shouting

the brain a real ocean a wild tangle of kelp

hello that’s why I invent a gentle hand

one soft imaginary palm to brush against my cheek

maybe if I tell myself this is a picnic

      all this light     in some park or

at the beach     sand sky water

grass dirt sand     sky     however my

true location is indoors sitting at this table

drinking tea again lemon ginger

delivering a little pep talk to myself

you’ve got this! jenny! you’re indefatigable!

ah I have lived so many lives in this skin

in my clothes for example those

brilliant white pants I allow myself to wear

only in photographs     no dirty green

patches allowed     by now the voice

has disappeared     please

don’t think I need saving just for this

performance to come to an end