I INVENT A YOU BC I NEED SOMEWHERE TO COME BACK FROM
hello new quiet soft as mauve
heather now the field
no longer a lawn or a sea there never
was a sea at all only ever a
placeholder
breath under a flood
long chains of your eyes peering some other way
way as in that field we sat in that
sky-skim wide-vast
clouds drifting thin above our heads
is it okay if I still say
meet me in this sea of grass
in the meadow’s heart
ah how hours fall through glass in your company
how I temporarily don’t notice these dirty
emerald stains on our skin you tell me smear
isn’t a bad word that what are
stains if not proof of existence in this sea
where we are always also at large
hello utter enveloping illuminated realm
hello I imagine us in that water
true that a great voice took over momentarily
the brain such a vaulted hall of mystery
the secret though is that you are and aren’t a person
yes a tide comes in sweeps me out undertow too
to break free I swim parallel to the shore
see I still have a few tricks up my sleeve
but what has happened to this timeline
to this glass polished into a mirror
I mean actually a loud strict voice shouting
the brain a real ocean a wild tangle of kelp
hello that’s why I invent a gentle hand
one soft imaginary palm to brush against my cheek
maybe if I tell myself this is a picnic
all this light in some park or
at the beach sand sky water
grass dirt sand sky however my
true location is indoors sitting at this table
drinking tea again lemon ginger
delivering a little pep talk to myself
you’ve got this! jenny! you’re indefatigable!
ah I have lived so many lives in this skin
in my clothes for example those
brilliant white pants I allow myself to wear
only in photographs no dirty green
patches allowed by now the voice
has disappeared please
don’t think I need saving just for this
performance to come to an end